Birth Control:

​

First lesson: You get what you are given. There is a strict no returns policy. 

​

Two: Apart from Cybertron, there are no upgrades available for the model you receive.

​

Three: It's for life. Possibly longer.

​

Four: Any damage caused as an infant are forgettable or regrettable. 

​

Five: No, you can no longer afford the life you thought you were going to have.

​

Six: You should have thought of that before hand.

​

Seven: Yes, your parents do think its funny.

​

Eight: It's okay to think that but best to keep it to yourself.

​

Nine: You'll have a good immune system at the end of it. A good cream should clear it up. 

​

Ten: Two is definitely more work than one. The universe does have a sense of humour. So, always plan for triplets.

​

Birth Right:

 

One: Shelter, food, education and love.

 

Two: Toys; restricted to non-lethal, decibel level and damage potential.

 

Three: Understanding; depends on the homework.

 

Four: Hand-me-downs; not from the clean washing.

 

Five: Friends over; After due process and interogation.

 

Six: A pet; restricted by calorie intake, teeth, exercise and clean-up.

​

Seven: Pocket-money; restricted to size of the pocket.

​

Eight: Boy/girl friend; must be house-trained, visible at all times and under pension age.

​

Nine: Transport; many comfortable and sensible shoes are available.

​

Ten: Marriage; re-think number six.